For the past week I’ve been relatively sick and this happens quiet a few times a year. Lets just say that my immune system and I are not BFFs. Instead of frolicking through flowers we fight frequently on a barren battle ground. Something like that, or so it feels. Emotionally and psychologically it can be a strain because “everyone” else around me is able to continue living their lives and doing fun things…blah blah blah blah false.
I didn’t have this realization that I wasn’t alone in such a situation because someone came up to me and was like, “Hey, I’m sick too-lets not have lives together.” But instead, it was me coming to terms with the reality of life and telling my pity party to fuck off.
Too often I get wrapped up in myself. I ask that pathetic question “why me?” But I am now working on broadening my perspective and I think others should do the same. This isn’t limited to sickness, but also relationships, death, daily happenings that may throw you off or stress you [the fuck] out, etc. We all have our shit. & believe it or not one person’s baggage isn’t any greater than the next person’s.
Regardless of what you’re going through there is always thousands if not millions of other people who are going/have gone through the same situation. Yes, of course it sucks when it is you experiencing something unpleasant or heartbreaking first hand but realizing that you’re not alone can be the most comforting realization.
It’s all about perspective.
& in such situations we can’t be afraid of showing despair, angst, uncertainty, grief… As humans we are given the ability to create meaningful relationships with people we eventually call friends/family. Being vulnerable in front of these people can be the greatest release-but only if you allow yourself to do so. Fear of judgement is normal. But if this fear of judgment is making you cringe and want to run even farther then simply choose someone else. Vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of being a real person. A raw person. A fearless person.
I admire vulnerability. On another note, I very much admire a man who allows himself to cry. We’re human. We therefore have emotions. When we choose to hide them we really aren’t fooling anyone. So express them. Be thankful that you have the ability to express them.
[insert humor here] Because honestly, once we all develop Alzheimer’s we won’t be able to express jack shit let alone write our name.
The darkness one feels inside is a darkness created by keeping emotions packed away and out of sight. Pretending to “fix” things and “deal” with things is the story of everyone’s life. In this regard we are not alone. It’s normal. But healthy? Rhetorical question. We can only blame ourselves for creating such a darkness. However; once we see that it exists inside of us and accept that it’s no body’s’ fault except our own are we able to turn it around.
Time to come out of the dark.
Love yourself. No excuses.