I asked myself a pretty valid question recently.
How do I benefit from comparing myself to other people?
This question arose presumably because of where I am in life, the “age of possibility”, as my adult development professor would tell me. I am in the midst of putting my big girl panties on by applying to graduate school, establishing some type of career, moving the hell out of this state, etc–the actions necessary to create the life I’ve always wanted for myself.
& after some rather extensive evaluation this is all I have to say:
Comparing myself has been pretty detrimental to my self-esteem and self-worth as well as how I view my potential and even my intelligence. But when evaluating my life I must say I’m pretty damn satisfied. So, if I am in fact satisfied then what the fuck is with this comparison sob fest?
It had to cease, and so it did.
Now some may argue that comparison is used as a means of motivation, motivation to do what others are doing, to be as good as they are at x, y or z. [most of the time it ends up as you beating yourself up and ultimately feeling like total shit]
& if x, y or z isn’t exactly what you want, which it isn’t because you are you and not the person you’re comparing yourself to, then there is no comparison.
Motivation should come from admiration of qualities like persistence, dedication, tenacity and passion, because it’s qualities like those that get you want you want and where you need to be.
We can’t get caught up in comparing ourselves to other people and envying them for what they are. The decisions they have made aren’t going to make you happy. We must stay self-focused on our goals while supporting those in the process of reaching theirs.
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.