I am most definitely beginning this post with a story from this morning. Note: my morning began at 3:45 when I crawled out of bed to get ready for work…

But wait. What in the hell? I don’t hear my alarm. Yet I’m awake…

Why.

Am I dreaming or is my neighbor ACTUALLY YELLING ON THE PHONE IN THE BEDROOM [in the row home] NEXT TO MINE? You can’t be serious. Excuse me Ma’am, do you know what time it is? Any perception of time? Brain cells? Common sense? Manners? Eye sight? Anything? I think not, BECAUSE THE SUN IS STILL DOWN AND WILL BE FOR ANOTHER 3 HOURS YET YOU’RE SCREAMING.

This yelling must cease.

Your volume at this hour is excessive. You have children in your home. Many of them. You know how I know? Because I have to listen to you yell at them all day long as you be sittin’ on ya porch step chillin’. What is this yelling nonsense? And why am I speaking like this? Like YOU. Your awful slang shit is rubbing off on me. Unacceptable. As if I don’t have to hear your voice enough on a daily basis–now I have to hear it at 4am?

Unbelievable.

For. The. Love. Of. All. Things. Good.

& this is exactly how I look at 4am while questioning your stupidity.

I run into these situations far too often. People run their mouths in the most inappropriate places and at the most inappropriate times.

Ex 1: Standing in line. I know you’re not giving me a look when you’re the one shouting to your friend (?) who, may I add, is 3  feet from you about last nights festivities which sounded pretty horrid. Quite honestly I trying to listen to as little as humanly possible. All I wanted was a pleasant wait in line, to stand there contemplating the next move on my “to-do” list, have a little one man convo inside my mind perhaps, and you certainly shit all over that possibility. Instead, you wanted to ensure that everyone knew about your adventure the night before.

You’re right, we all wanted to know, including that elderly man behind you.

Ex 2: The garbage coming out of your mouth.  I KNOW YOU DIDN’T JUST CAT CALL ME. I don’t know you & now I really have no interest in knowing you. I absolutely did not ask for any type of attention from you. You must have something better to do than to harass me. You make me want to go home and shower off all the insults.

Ex 3: Vocalizing your opinion and then proceeding to belittle everyone else’s. Stop. I can guarantee that 98% of your audience doesn’t give two shits about what you have to say. & 100% of them didn’t ask to hear it in the first place.

Ex 4: That chick from grade school you see at a local bar  who gives you the stink eye and mumbles something to her friend. Explain your purpose. Is it because I beat you in that dance off in 8th grade? God damn right I did.

 I can’t even deal.

Keep your comments to yourself. We spend far too much time on silly shit like this (& here I am blogging about it). I do my best to keep an open mind, to give everyone a fair chance, until you prove how much of a mindless fool you are. Often times one proves this before  otherwise before my mind can open.

I’ll speak for myself here–a genuine compliment or some type of constructive and welcomed criticism are always invited…

but be mindful…

…or shut the f*ck up.