2019

Just a quick reflection before the clock strikes twelve. December 31, 2017 I was in Longmont, Colorado. I didn't have a whole lot going on, but a few days before I had an interview with the University of Colorado, Boulder for an RA position. You see, I had found this lab online and simply emailed…

“happy” holidays

I know some people are hurting this holiday season and I feel for you. Just know that you're not alone. It's about that time of year where I get off social media because, no offense, but I just don't care about your beaming families and 30 year traditions. For me, every year has gotten progressively…

This morning blew. But I honestly didn't expect anything else. Nothing went as planned, but then again it never does when we try this. It was as if someone had physically shaken me for 60 minutes and then threw me on my feet to walk. There was just no way. I lost it driving up…

Nailed it.

This year started out pretty chaotic, but in the end, it was all worth it. (as it always is) I left Maryland [again] because I was unhappy and spinning my wheels. I could not possibly waste anymore time as I was somehow already 26. When I moved back out to Colorado I had goals. 1.…

The Great Pretender

Your name came up today. I'm usually unaffected when this happens. Today it stopped me in my tracks. I want to scream in your face that I hate you, that I hate you more than anyone on this screwed up plant. I HATE YOU. But why hate you? You wouldn't be hurt by my hate.…

It’s a wrap!

In August, I took a trip out to Colorado to see some of my favorite people and places, the first time I had been back since I moved home 15 months previously. After briefly seeing a coworker and learning that my same position was currently open, I pretty much decided right then and there that I was…

Scattered and honest

Day after day after day, I wasn't any happier living back in Maryland. Everyone kept asking me what I was going to be doing with my life. What made you all think I have it figured out just because I'm back in Maryland? In fact, because I'm here again I have it less figured out...because…

I’ve been asked to come home

While I always knew that Colorado was temporary for me, an adventure of sorts rather than a move to grow roots, I’ve been asked to come home a bit earlier than I expected. I’m going to be a helping hand to my grandma back in my hometown. My daddy-o asked this of me and, well,…

Living with no point to prove

Living (adj): not dead : having life Since moving out to Colorado my definition of living has changed. My definition of living is mentioned above. The reality is that that's the only definition there is. Exploring, creating, impacting, learning, are all things you do while you're living. I used to believe that doing something outrageous and spontaneous…

To whom it no longer concerns

Once someone hurt me, badly. Wastes of oxygen. We cross paths with them throughout life. Sometimes it's a quick encounter and unfortunately other times it's not. I happened to cross paths with one for well over 4 years, and it became something rather infectious for well over 3. I left that person in the dark…