It didn’t hurt me this time, it just solidified what I already knew – about you.
We crossed paths a bit ago. I was hesitant. Brunch was quiet. I felt nothing. You came back over to sleep. I felt nothing. You left in the morning. I felt nothing.
It was the fact that I felt nothing that made me so deeply sad.
I never thought in a million lifetimes that you would make me feel nothing.
Is this progress? Pain? A beginning? The end? It saddened me. I needed time to figure it out.
It was taking too long, honestly. But I had taken enough time for myself, and it was time for you.
I called still not having figured it out.
Every time you do this I am pushed farther.
Every time you do this I feel even less.
Every time you do this I –
I think I understand now.