How? Well, in the same way following your heart can be! In my case, doing super rad things and following my heart meant moving to Colorado. So here I am. I moved here 5 months and 13 days ago. I had no doubts, no potential earth shaking struggles I could think of. However, in my recent realization I have concluded that I’m not adjusting to life here as well as I kept telling myself I was. BUT HOW!? There is an overwhelming amount of beauty and fresh air here! A clean slate, too! Life here is basically a continuous vacation.
So, self, what’s the dilemma?
For a start, the week after I moved my lovely Grandma’s (aka Gram Cracka) health started to decline and since then it’s only gotten worse. Since I’m her only grandchild it blows twice as hard. I’ve been going home more often than I initially expected. I’ve also been calling her excessively. So really, I’m not able to put total energy into adjusting to my new Colorado life. Secondly, my child (aka dog) Ellie… I miss this thing to death and being without her can be a real challenge considering every single person in Boulder has at least 1 dog. She’s the piece of home that I could really use during an adjustment like this. Lastly, my lover is still living in Baltimore.
Here’s the thing about moving across the country:
IT’S REALLY EXCITING TO THINK ABOUT BEFORE IT HAPPENS.
IT’S REALLY EXCITING WHEN YOU GET THERE. LIFE IS A TOTAL VACATION UNTIL WORK BEGINS.
You finally wrap your head around the fact that this new place is now home. One of two thoughts then occur:
1. Fuck yes-I love life. (overwhelming excitement)
2. How did I get here and why? (total fucking confusion)
It isn’t even that I’m home sick, although I do worry about Gram Cracka, but I know everyone else there is alive and well. I also know that I have the resources to come back whenever I need to (aka I’m not a hobo). I just have this gut feeling that another place is better for me, and that’s okay. I’m also excited to figure out where that place is! I’m also enjoying the cheap rent so that I can explore the shit out of this place and the rest of the wild west.
Some people think I’m crazy. Some people envy me. Some people are dying to visit this place now that they’ve seen excessive Facebook photos of my life here. Some people think I have guts. Some people are like “omg I could never” in which case please go away. But really, anyone can do this, it’s only uprooting and leaving the only place you’ve ever called home along with everyone is there…
All in all it’s been the best adventure yet, and it sure as hell won’t be the last.
Advice for those who want some change: Go before you talk yourself out of it.